Ken Clarke is a bloke

David Davis

The Tories may not be so stupid after all. Samizdata thinks they have really lost their marbles on this one, but I’m not so sure.

The problem with the Tories is that David Cameron, his labour-voting wife, and the advertising-buggers who “advise him”, are all Gramscian crypto-Fabian metrosexual wind-turbinobastobaters and polenta-eating lefties. They even understand Tony Blair, the great and prime anti-liberal Tory of the 20th Century, and probably dine with his friends on their Tuscan kitchen tables.

Ken Clarke could by no means be considered one of these, even if he is an old-leftist-one-nation-Tory-and-Europhiliac. He would not eat polenta, or have a windturbastobator on his roof if you even paid him. And the voters know it in their hearts.

The problem is he is not leader of the Tory party, and this ought to be rectified right away.


  • I reckon it’s a toss-up who would alieanate more “true” Conservatives – “Dave” or Ken Clarke. If the choice is either/or, we really are f****d!

  • so what you’re saying -correct me if i’m wrong- is that Ken Clarke is exactly the same as Dave, but without the wardrobe or PR people?

    • In a way, yes: I had not thought of it like that, but yes.

      One other advantage of Ken Clarke is that he looks like he drinks beer and enjoys sex with girls. I guess Europhiles must enjoy sex (but I haven’t asked so I don’t really know) because “Europe” does contain lots of pretty women and girls, which is, as we know, what sex is for.

      One problem with Dave is that he looks like a teetotaller-metrosexual puritan, who’s been to Oxford (which he is and has…) So, having become what he really is underneath, then he’s simply wasted his time there, pretending to have enjoyed Bullingdon dinners which I’d have given my right arm to attend. But I was never invited to as I was a scientist-scumbag in a “non-U” College (at the time, the place is different now, college fashions change over the centuries) and I wasn’t at Ch Ch, or St J, or BNC, or LMH (if you were a girl.)

      “Ken” Clarke may actually be a better choice for a Tory leader today if what they want to do is to win. He is also funny and witty on the media which Dave is not. He’s the nearest thing to Tony Blair that the Tories have got, and without the unctious puritannical oiliness of Blair. The British are in the slide to the cesspit, and want only to elect copies of Tony Blair, because that is what they remember from the “Great Days”.

  • Ken Clarke is a real person. He recognizes the world outside politics. And he looks as if he can live without the “glittering prizes.” Blair and Cameron are too keen on “winning” to be trusted.


  • I can see the attraction, don’t get me wrong. In fact, in a former life I was really hoping Ken Clarke would win the leadership contest. But that was before i started really thinking about things, and politics, and what EUrope really _is_, and all that.

    Isn’t he just the Tories’ answer to Michael Foot? People like him because he’s scruffy, without actually listening to what he says…

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