How to Start Smoking


How to Start Smoking

So you’ve read the FAQ and decided to experience the pleasures of smoking. We wrote this guide to start you off right so just follow this step by step guide and you’ll be smoking in no time. If you have a friend that’s also interested, do it together!

Step 1: Buy two packs of cigarettes and a bic lighter.
There are literally hundreds of brands and styles to choose from, each with its own taste and unique characteristics. To start, I recommend purchasing a pack of Marlboro Light 100s (Gold Pack) and Marlboro Red 100s (both in the box, not soft pack.) If you’re not comfortable with these, then pick two that you are comfortable with, one light and one full flavor. Buy these from a store that sells a lot of cigarettes – you don’t want to be stuck with an old pack for your first time out.

Step 2: Get comfortable.
Sit down and relax.

Step 3. Practice the act.
Open your pack of lights and pull a cigarette out. A cigarette is much like a straw insofar as you pull or suck something into you mouth with the straw and then swallow it. The difference with the cigarette, is that you will be inhaling rather than swallowing. Put the cigarette to your lips. Exhale out of your nose. Pull (suck) on the cigarette, open your mouth, moving the cigarette away, and inhale quickly, taking a full breath from your mouth. What’s happening is that you’re pulling the smoke into your mouth, then removing the cigarette, and inhaling the smoke into your lungs. It’s as simple as that. Give it a few tries and get comfortable with it.

Step 4. Light up and inhale.
Now it’s time to really give it a shot. Since this is your first time and just like with coffee or alcohol, don’t expect to fully enjoy the taste. That will come a little later, after just a few packs. Put the cigarette to you mouth, fully exhale, light the lighter, bring it to the tip of the cigarette, and then pull the smoke into your mouth. Remove the cigarette from your mouth and inhale quickly. Hold it in for a second and then fully exhale.

You should feel a rush of pleasure and your first instinct will be to do it again, but don’t. You can have too much of a good thing and you will feel sick if you have to much. So put it out and wait at least one hour, but no longer than a day. Then light another one up allowing yourself to take two puffs. Keep moving up by one puff each time you light a new cigarette. Once you finish the first pack, go onto the second.

Have questions? Visit the forums.

Photograph © by Laurin Rinder, Image from BigStockPhoto.com

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10 comments

  • Where is the “how to die of lung cancer, faster” blog?

    • Why don’t you ask your local state for a grant? You could start your own.

  • How marvelously politically incorrect.

  • I think Sean is replying to Joe and not to Peter, but I’m not sure precisely. Confusion sets in, in old age. However, the idea of confounding the bastards is a good one.

  • Wonderful. This will make the Puritan heads explode. I must steal it.

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  • Pingback: How to Start Smoking | badgerostripeyone

  • Love it!!

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  • This did make me laugh. There is no doubt that the adulterated quality of tobacco and over-consumption are not good for many people and a herb like tobacco is deserving of respect, but the fanatics have made it out to be far more of a demon than it is.
    For what it is worth most smokers don’t get lung cancer and many non-smokers do. The anti-smoking lobby is big business, just like the smoking companies and the crusade against smoking is akin to the hysterical paranoia against drinking in the 19th century. There are certainly valid reasons to counsel against over-consumption – but that applies to everything. Even water will kill you if you drink too much.
    Your lungs are replaced every six weeks and in fact every cell of your body is replaced every seven years – physiologically speaking there is no reason why the body cannot cope with or recover from anything – it is a matter of how robust the body is, how moderate the habits are and how well nourished the individual is in terms of nutrition.
    For what it is worth when I lived in Bombay in the early nineties I read that living in that city with its huge levels of air filth factor was the equivalent of smoking a packet of cigarettes a day somewhere cleaner. So, if you live in a truly filthy city then smoking challenges for your body will be greater than say if you live in clean countryside. But your body will tell you if it does not like what you are doing. All you have to do is listen, feel and take note.

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